


Open Heart and Closed Doors

by every1isgay



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, First Dates, Fluff, Gay, Kissing, Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Open Relationships, POV First Person, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 15:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/every1isgay/pseuds/every1isgay
Summary: Viktor wants Yuri to get out more. Date more. But Yuri just wants to spend all his time with his boyfriend, and not date other people. He is mostly okay with their open relationship. But maybe not really. And when a date doesn’t go quite as expected, Yuri comes home a bit flustered, and Viktor is there to pick up the pieces.





	Open Heart and Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> written by Emery

Viktor brushes some invisible lint off my coat and kisses me goodbye. "Have fun," he says, in his thick accent I have learned to love so well. Two years ago I never dreamed we would be as happy as we are now. I give him a longer kiss, sliding my tongue between his lips, and I can feel him smile into it. "Seriously," he says, "Get going, Yuri, you'll be late."

I want to stay in, cuddle with my partner and watch Game of Thrones while eating popcorn on our couch that's big enough for just us. But I know he wants me to go. Viktor has been wanting me to branch out for the past month or so, always asking what I want to do for  _ fun _ . I know I should go out more, do more than just cuddle with Viktor and skate, but it's just...

"Okay," I agree softly, pushing a strand of his silver hair from his face. "Okay, I'm going. I love you."

Viktor smiles his dorky lopsided smile back at me, and I'm pretty sure I should be dead because I can actually feel my heart melt. "I love you to infinity and beyond," Viktor replies.

I really don't want to go.

But this should be good for me. I know it, and Kenjirou seems really nice. Phichit speaks highly of him and the two times we met at various parties Kenjirou has been nothing but a gentleman, even if he is a  _ little  _ strange. I'm certain it will be a good night, though; I know I’ll have fun. I'm just nervous.

As the door closes behind me, I pull out my phone to call a Lyft, shivering slightly, more from nerves than the cold night. I shoot a text to Kenjirou telling him I'm on my way to the restaurant, lying about how I'm looking forward to this evening. My mind drifts back to the blue sweats and oversized brightly colored t-shirt Viktor is wearing, and I want  _ him  _ to be my date.

I'm fine with our open relationship. I am. I just don't want to date anyone else. Besides, an occasional hook-up when Viktor is out of town (something I still have yet to do) is one thing, but this  _ date _ ... I don't know what to think of it. On one hand, it's completely harmless; I can think of it more as two friends hanging out than a date. But, on the other hand, I know it may lead to sex, and that adds pressure. And then there is even more pressure from Viktor for me to enjoy myself.

I haven't voiced all my anxiety to my partner. I know I should, but I also know he wants to see me happy. What's beyond infuriating is that he doesn't see that  _ he _ is all I need to be happy. I'm okay with him and Christophe, too. They have fun together, and sometimes I can't always be there for Viktor with my work schedule, so I'm glad he has a boyfriend he can hang out with while he misses me. And I trust Christophe. He  _ knows _ that Viktor and I are together and nothing is going to change that. He doesn't expect anything to change either; he respects that we are each other's number one.

So I'm fine with them.

What I'm not sure I'm fine with is this idea of seeing someone other than my life partner when I have Viktor waiting for me at home.

But Viktor thinks Kenjirou and I will get along, and he thinks that this will be fun. Viktor is usually right; I trust him, if he says this is a good idea, then it probably is. I just wish my gut would agree with my head.

Dinner is delicious and relaxing; Kenjirou knows enough about ice skating to keep up with a lively conversation and I'm impressed, actually having quite a good time. By the end of dinner I feel much more at ease. Ken - he said I could call him Ken - is sweet and funny. After dinner, we go to see a film, and I'm glad I get to see a movie without Viktor talking through the entire thing and asking questions about what's going on. The whole date is quite enjoyable. 

We decide, after the cinema, to walk back to Kenjirou's flat, because it's not too far from where we are. As we go, we have an easy conversation about the movie, chatting animatedly about the funny bits we liked. I'm smiling easily, feeling a lightness in my chest that is rare when I am around new people.

Overall, I'm satisfied with how it all played out.

But then Kenjirou grabs my hand and my blood runs cold.

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. _

I'm not ready for this part. I forgot that heading back to someone's flat means sex. I don't want sex with Kenjirou. I want to go home and maybe make love to Viktor, not this  _ other person _ . Kenjirou is nice, but I have someone waiting for me whom I love and trust with every inch of who I am. I don't want to go through the awkwardness of doing it with someone I hardly know.

There isn't anything wrong with Kenjirou. I just know this night needs to end as soon as possible.

I slow down and finally manage to say, "Well, Ken, I think I may call a Lyft, actually… I, er, it's getting late, and I want to turn in early tonight."

Kenjirou stops walking and looks at me, disappointment dancing in his hazel eyes. "Right," he says. Then he smiles, and I don't know him well enough, but it looks a little forced.

"I had a lot of fun," I assure him. "We'll have to do it again, maybe, but for tonight, I want to get home to Viktor."

Kenjirou nods, almost as if he has forgotten all about my partner's existence. "Of course. I had fun too, Yuri. I'll call you." His smile seems more genuine now, and it causes me to calm down, marginally.

Then he steps in as I pull out my phone, and he grabs my wrist, pulling me closer to him. I can smell his musty scent, more natural than the bubbly smell that adorns Viktor. I want to tell him to stop, but everything I can think of to say sounds really rude. Before I know it he kisses me.

This is okay. It's just a kiss. More than I would have wanted, maybe, but I can deal with it. Then he goes deeper, and I'm too scared to pull away. I don't want him to think I don't like him. I  _ did  _ have fun, but this is all a bit too fast for me.

It's not until I feel one hand on my lower back, and another on my stomach, drifting lower, that I'm able to get a grip. "Uh- um," I sputter, as I break away from his clutches. "Sorry… I, er…"

Kenjirou seems to understand right away, and even seems regretful. "S-sorry," he mutters, adjusting his shirt uncomfortably.

I shrug, hand scratching the back of my head as I look to the ground for some answers.

Kenjirou sucks in a breath and then spits out, "Well good night, Yuri," in a rush.

I nod and turn the opposite direction.

My hands are shaking as I order my ride from my phone.

The driver pulls up to our house after what feels like ages. I was able to manage a text to Viktor to tell him I'm on my way home, and luckily he didn't ask a bunch of questions like he normally would.

I get out of the car and feel a bit sick looking at the front door. I don't even know what to tell Viktor.

I want him to hold me.

I want to tell him what happened.

I want to cry in his arms.

But all that seems too dramatic. It wasn't like anything major happened on my date. It was simply a kiss and then some touching. It’s fine. As soon as I pulled away, he stopped, so it's not like Kenjirou did anything wrong. It was me: I did something wrong. Something is wrong with  _ me _ for not being a man who wants sex from as many people as I can get. Something  _ must _ be wrong with me.

Viktor opens the door before I can get to my keys. He looks happy, but his smile fades when he sees me. I can't for the life of me think of why.

"Babe," he coos softly, pulling me in for a tight hug. "I'm sorry. You didn't have a good time, did you?"

His arms bring me home as I shut my eyes, face smushed into my partner's chest. "H-how did you know?" I ask.

He pulls away, hands on my shoulders, and shakes his head as he looks down at me. "Oh, Yuri… come inside."

I follow him in, but refuse to let go of Viktor's warm hand. There is reassurance there, and the security I get from nothing else.

Once we're in and the door is closed and locked for the night, I feel like my guard can finally fall down. I rush back into Viktor for a tight hug, and that must set off some internal alarms, because Viktor seems to tense up as I wrap my arms around him.

"Yuri?" He demands, a bit panicked. "Hey, are you okay? Did something happen?"

I sometimes wonder if being with someone long enough actually gives you psychic abilities, or maybe if it's just Viktor, because he is quite surreal in that way. I pull away from the hug, but keep my arms around Viktor's waist. "I'm fine. Glad to be home. It… it was fun… I just want to get to bed, though.”

Viktor seems unconvinced. He crosses his arms over his chest and scowls at me in that adorable way of his that usually gets him what he wants. "You're not fine," he observes, voice stubborn.

I try to smile, but I don't want to lie either.

The truth is, I do feel okay now. Now that I'm home in the familiar warmth of my house, with the solid pillar of my life partner before me, I do feel better. But I know I have to tell him, and I'm scared. I don't even know what it is exactly that I need to tell him, but I feel like there is something huge, even though I have no clue what it is I'm going to say.

Viktor's face softens. He knows when something is bothering me. His long lithe fingers reach up to cup my cheek, and my lip quivers. He shakes his head, stepping into my space.

I can't hold it back. I launch forward yet again, hugging him for dear life. I don't have words. But I have Viktor, and I know things will be okay.

I hold on tight and remember that no matter what, it's us first. All I have to do is trust Viktor and we will figure the rest out together.

"I got you," Viktor whispers into my ear.

I know I'll have to tell him that I can't do an open relationship anymore.

I know I’ll have to tell him about what happened with Kenjirou.

I know I'll have to explain a lot of the fears that I have been hiding from even myself.

And all of that is scary.

But if there is one thing I am certain of in all this world, that one single thing is Viktor, and I know without a shadow of a doubt, I have him.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this was originally written for a different fandom, but it was way too OOC for the ones I had originally written it for. I realized it fit much better as Yuri and Viktor, so.... Here we are. Thanks for reading!


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